I finally found the time for the emotional breakdown I have been meaning to have since arriving in India. It only took me three minutes. Somewhere between consuming my ump-teenth plastic water bottle, struggling to find a filtered cup of coffee, worrying about what Oliver was going to eat here in rural India and scrapping camel poop off my shoe...I lost it. I made my way up to the roof of our hotel and broke down quietly in the corner. Cursing the dirt, water, annoyingly persistent men, my empty stomach and under-caffeinated head I cried it all out. Once I was aware that there were three waiters watching me, concerned, I pulled down my sunglasses and finished up. "I'm fine" I answered without being questioned and went back to my room. It felt great. I really needed that. I am so happy i finally gave myself the three minutes i needed. This country is no joke; you let your guard down for one minute and you could be drinking bad water and someone you don't know could be walking around with your kid. I am tired of being vigilant, tired of my eyes being so open all the time.
I found Andy and Oliver and announced that we were going on a search for a filtered coffee. We found a place just down the road. It didn't cure my growling stomach, the mounds of poop in the road, or the men who will continue to try and sell to us, flirt with me and hold Oliver...but it was a good place to start.
I just caught up from all your blogs for December...I love you, I cannot wait to see you this summer. Your adventures have been incredible, scary, intriguing, crazy, heartwarming, and just making me want to see you, hold you, and be with you again. I miss you all, I love you so much
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to know it isn't just me. You should know that I wanted to scream and cry our whole taxi ride from Goa airport to the beach (after an overnight train with Ennis... do not do that with anyone too young for ear plugs and a sleep mask). I've been jealous you guys have a 1 year contract. See my blog post today for a longer version. I haven't cried recently, but I've often wished for some privacy because I know what you mean--it feels a lot better to do it.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you're doing all of this craziness, too. It makes it feel more doable for me.
Thanks Sue. We miss you like crazy and can't wait to see you again. Rose, we are going to have some major debriefing to do once we all get back! India exhausted me but Singapore and Thailand have been just what the doctor ordered...I feel fantastic and back to my self.
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