Teacher and Student

Last Thursday I taught a lesson in Andy's classroom about story dramatization.  The kids went NUTS.  They loved acting out the stories together and individually figuring out how to best represent the characters.  I loved it myself.  It felt good to put my toe back in the teaching pond. I felt comfortable and natural and yet it reaffirmed that the classroom is not the place for me at the moment; being a full-time momma is exactly what I should be doing.  I gladly handed the class back to Andy so I could walk home and put Oliver to bed.

I think a part of me liked being a teacher because I was in control of so much: our schedule, the implementation of lessons, how conflicts were handled....  I liked knowing how each day looked before the kids came in (at least on paper) and what I needed to do to help everyone succeed.

Then there's me the student. The part that shows up and not knowing what *exactly* is going to happen each day.  It's both wonderful and incredibly frustrating to not have control over what my days look like.  I often don't understand the language spoken around me, or the customs of my adopted country and there is nothing I can do about it.  Knowing this calms me because what can I do to change the situation at that moment?  I am learning so much everyday about this amazing, frustrating, beautiful, dirty, surprising and humble country.
A few tidbits I have learned the past two weeks:

• 90% of Indian homes do not have hand towels in the bathroom.  They do however, have towel racks that stare back at me saying "use your pants." I do not understand this but am starting to bring Kleenex with me for this and...
• Public bathrooms, more often than not, have no toilet paper.  Which is awesome for us girls.
• If you stare a Rhesus monkey in the eye, it may attack you.  This advice has been given over and over to us and we are taking it quite seriously.  We have been told to wait inside twice now because the Rhesus were fighting outside.
• I learned that if I go into the bazaar with just Oliver, men come out of the wood work to either stare at us or help us find anything I need. "Garlic!  I know where you can get Garlic!" 
• I also learned that if I return to the bazaar with Andy then the men pay no attention to me but the women look quite relieved to know I have a man in my life.
• I learned that if you take your fair-skinned blue-eyed baby out to a restaurant, people will take pictures of him.
• If you and 12 other white ladies walk into a bar, the entertainment will stop singing Hindi songs and start singing whatever American songs they know.  On Friday this meant covers of Bob Dylan and John Denver.
• There are no boundaries when it comes to babies.  I have had people yank Oliver's arms out of the Ergo (carrier) and shake them, take his hands from his mouth while he is eating, lift him out of the highchair (again, while eating), put their fingers in his mouth and also (true story) blow their nose with their fingers and then touch his face.  Andy says I need to be cool but I have been known to say "Ok, stop touching the baby now!" Seriously, with no toilet paper or towels in the bathrooms...stop touching my kid.
• I have learned that Indians look very disappointed when you tell them to stop touching your kid.
• I have learned that no where else on Earth (that we have traveled at least) are the people more helpful, inviting, hospitable and eager to please.  We have been invited to countless homes for dinners and shared many fun nights with our new neighbors and friends.  This has aided our transition and made us feel like we made the right decision to come here.

More to come!

xo

Imagine if you can

Oliver and I were in a rush today to get to school for lunch with Andy. Let me start from the beginning:  We bought a washing machine six days ago and the store is supposed to send an "engineer" to set it up the next day.  No one came.  I called and called and was told always "today!" but the engineer never came.  Then Andy called- we figured that my female/western voice wasn't getting very far-and told them they had to come TODAY.  The head of the school got wind of our frustration and also called them and said TODAY.  I was told to expect them between 11:30 and 12:00 so that Oliver and I could still make lunch.  12:00 came, no engineer.  My Ayah (housekeeper), Mooni, came to wait for the engineer so we could leave.  Rushing to get out and make it to school on time we bumped into our next-door neighbor, Rajneesh, who offered to give us a ride to school...on his scooter.  My mind flashed back several years to when Britney Spears was accosted by the press for getting caught driving with her child in her lap and child services was called.  But we jumped on anyways.  Oliver was in his Ergo, tight to me and I figured that I see people doing this all the time just holding their babies in the arms.  Besides, there is no child services in India, so who would anyone call and report me to?  My neighbor told me to sit side-saddle (because all ladies sit side saddle) and to hold on tight.  I tried to adjust the hood on Oliver's rain coat, but he wailed.  I tried to put up the cover on the Ergo and he kicked.  Rajneesh saw how much resistance Oliver had to being covered and said, "Just open your umbrella." So now, imagine if you can: Me and Oliver sitting side-saddle, me holding on to the scooter with one hand and holding up my open umbrella in the other, riding down the mountain on Rajneesh's scooter.  People waved and smiled at us; never once did a look of concern flash across any faces.  Oliver narrowed his eyes against the wind and laughed the entire way.  To be sure,  I questioned my parenting the entire ride.  I would be arrested in America!  We aren't wearing helmets!  But the ride was kept under 25 mph (what's that in Kilometers?) and Rajneesh often shuttles his children around on the scooter so I knew he would be quite careful. Two minutes down and we hopped off and were just in time for lunch.  I hope next time we get offered a ride going UP; that's the difficult direction.

Photos

Here are some photos from our first week in India!

https://picasaweb.google.com/105040088199373549983/India?authuser=0&authkey=Gv1sRgCIPywda_66jw1QE&feat=directlink

Henry

I have only cried once over living in India.  We needed to leave and I NEEDED a shower and the water wasn't heated yet and I took a freezing cold shower and I cried.  It only lasted about 30 seconds and I got out of there pretty quickly.  I have tried my best to look on the bright side of things and see everything as funny even if it's incredibly frustrating.

But then there's Henry...I have cried many many times over Henry.  I held up a picture of him to Oliver and asked him, "Who is this?" That was all it took.  We Skyped with Henry last night and the water works started again.  Saying goodbye to Henry broke my heart.  We had to leave a family member  behind and it didn't (still doesn't) seem fair.  True, he would never survive the flights or the quarantine but I wonder how he is rationalizing living at my father-in-law's without us.

There are hundreds of stray dogs around here, but rabies is quite prevalent so there is absolutely no contact to be had with them.  Oliver looks at them and I wonder if he is remembering our darling dog.  I take heart knowing that Henry is great company for Chuck and that he is being loved and cared for but I still can't help feeling he should be with us.  I miss his snuggles, his quirks, the way he was so protective of me and Oliver.  He would be going crazy over the monkeys and the constant visitors, but he would be with us...his family.  I hope he doesn't forget Oliver and is thrilled to see us upon return.  Until then, we will keep looking at his photos and talking to Oliver about him. I heard the head of school has a Golden Retriever.  I am going to see if we can have a doggie play date.  I don't want Oliver to forget about how great dogs are or become fearful of them while we are gone.

Oh, and the picture above is Henry about to eat a "Doggie Dish" (soft serve and milk bones) from a food stand in Maine last summer. xo

Traveler's you-know-what...

Here we are... all healthy and happy!

Monkeys!

On our way to the school today we encountered a large troupe of Rhesus monkeys.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhesus_Macaque

That was the opportunity Andy chose to tell me they are not afraid of women and that I should use my umbrella to protect me and Oliver.  Awesome.  They won't hurt us, they are just looking for food.  Every one of Andy's students has a story of how these monkey's have pushed them down and stollen what they were eating.  When Andy told them we don't have monkey's in America the whole class said: "You're so LUCKY!!!!" :)  These monkeys also got into the school office, ransacked it, and stole a bunch of food!

Yesterday Oliver and I were walking up our little mountain and came within about two meters (look who's using metric now!) of a Langur.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gray_langur Oliver was excited, kicking his legs and squealing and he sent the monkey scrambling back up the tree!  These are completely harmless and disinterested in us and so gorgeous as they swing in the trees through the mist.

Life here sure is wild! I will post some pics of our animal neighbors once I find my camera cords.  

xo,

Lindsey

First Impressions

Oliver and I created quite a stir in the Abu Dhabi airport.  If you ever want to feel like stares could bore a hole straight through you, nurse your baby in an Arabian country.  I was completely covered and in a corner but I felt we should have been hiding in a bathroom stall.  Once that was over, Oliver and I drew a crowd as he played on the floor.  Not only was he the fairest and youngest person on the flight, but he was the only person with blue eyes. Burka-ed women encircled us, speaking words I did not understand but in tones that were all baby-talk. His poor cheeks were red from all the pinching.  Oliver  had better prepare himself to be the star of the show wherever we go.  I have even had women we have encountered on the road lift his arms up out of the Ergo and shake and kiss his hands.  Boundaries with babies are not established here.

When we landed in Delhi, Andy picked us up with a driver.  We rode to the home of Vikram and Sonya, two parents with children at Woodstock.  I couldn't believe they would open their home up to complete strangers the way they did. They were so kind and fed us so well and gave us plenty of Whiskey.   Turns out, this is not uncommon in India.  We have been asked to dinner countless times and been brought dinner the past two nights.  I am wondering if I will ever cook here.  Indian hospitality seems limitless.

The next day we left for Woodstock with our driver. I am not joking when I say that there were several times when I thought we weren't going to make it.  People on the roads lay on the horn and pass each other within a centimeter (like how I am using metric now?) of their lives. The narrow, child/cow/biker filled roads did not seem to matter; HONK HONK move it or truly lose it! So happy we will not be driving or biking ourselves here, don't think my heart could take it. Indian concern for others when it comes to the roads seems non-existant.

I am still processing what exactly we are doing here and where Oliver and I fit in.  But my first impressions of this place make me think we are going to be just fine.  Especially if we keep getting Dal delivered to our door every night.

We made it!

What a long strange trip it's been...Oliver was the best traveling companion I could ever hope for.  He was such a trooper on our long LOOOOOONG flights.  We just got to our apartment in Mussoorie a couple of hours ago after staying in Delhi last night.  I am exhausted in my bones.  My hair is tired.  But we are together and it's fantastic.  More to come when I am clear-headed.

Keep calm and carry on

People like to come up to me these days, cock their head sympathetically and ask, "How ARE you?"  As if I may break down sobbing in front of them because my husband is in India.  The truth is, I am fine.  I truly am.  I am not great, not sad, not horrible...just fine.  I am handling things; getting things accomplished and taking care of Oliver.  I handled it when I dropped Andy off at the airport and had to drive back to the city. I handled it when I had to go back to our apartment and clean it out by myself.  I handled it when Oliver had a super-sonic blow out on the way to Madison that required a full strip-down of him and a complete disassembly of our car seat to clean it.  I handled it when my father in law came to pick up Henry and take him away.
I am going to handle a 20+ hour flight with my baby, subsequent over night stay in Delhi and 7 our car drive to the school, I promise.  There is no other option, I have to handle things. Trust me though, when I say that this is not terribly difficult to handle.  I have a great kid, supportive parents and the chance to live in India for a year.  Handling two weeks without Andy, while not ideal, is possible. I miss him terribly, but this is good for me, this challenge of parenting on my own, traveling on my own.  So no more cocked-heads...I've got this.  Really.