We were told before coming to India that we should expect to hire an Ayah (housekeeper). It is a way we give back to the community by employing someone. Having no idea how to begin to clean concrete floors, help was quite welcome.
When Andy arrived two weeks previous to us, he had little time to hire, or even look for an ayah. The head of school, Ms. M, told him she has two and one, Sooni, only works part time, so he could have her for part of the week. This seemed a wonderful deal. No problems trusting Sooni, she helped raise Ms. M's children and has been with her for over 20 years. Andy handed over the extra key and went right on teaching.
When I arrived two weeks later I was so thankful we had help with cleaning because so many simple tasks were quite overwhelming for my sleep-deprived, jet-lagged self. I spoke with many staff and spouses about the ayah situation. What was a fair wage? What can I expect her to do? I was quite taken aback by how direct and seemingly insensitive the answers were. "Do NOT pay her too much, they will ALL want to make more if you do. Never give her more than one new instruction per day; anymore will confuse her. Talk to her as if she is four, they need very simple instructions. Do not let her take advantage of your not being there and slack off!"
I was appalled. Of COURSE I will pay a fair living wage. I really only need help with the cleaning; I am a capable cook and I don't want her to be a sitter for Oliver. I spoke with Sooni and Ms. M about pay. For 2.5 hours of cleaning every Tuesday and Thursday, I would pay Sooni 1,000 Rupees (about $20.00) at the end of every month. This seemed incredibly low and unreasonable, but then I discovered we are paying her more than most for an hourly wage.
Sooni would come when Oliver and I were at lunch with Andy and we would catch her near the end of her shift as we returned for nap time. I gave one new instruction each day. "Please lift the rugs off of the floor before you sweep and mop THEN put them back down. Please scrub the countertops, they are very damp. Please move chairs aside so you can mop under them." Always polite, respectful and kind to her I thought we were off to a great start. Oliver thinks she is just the neatest person ever as she has sequins all over her sari and she lets him grab it and shake it.
But I was starting to get suspicious. We had lots of hair left on our bathroom floor, the counters still had crumbs, the floors were clearly not being mopped. I spilled a few cornflakes on our floor on Tuesday and thought "let's see what happens." Our floor is maroon concrete, three yellow cornflakes are highly visible against it. When Oliver and I returned from lunch the cornflakes were still there. I asked Sooni if she had mopped and I got the standard, "Yes Ma'am!" Then I asked her if she would wash the doors on our built in cabinets as they were getting quite dusty/moldy and she said (what I believe she said, my Hindi is far from great) is that the monsoon makes everything dusty and moldy and then she walked out the door.
I was fuming. That was my one new instruction! I was following the rules and she just walked out! Not only that, I knew she had been there less than 2.5 hours because she wasn't there when we left and she left when we returned less than two hours later.
I was angry at myself. Was I not clear? Why don't I know more Hindi? Why am I not someone who can be firm with others? Andy and I spoke about it and we agreed that I needed to talk to Ms. M. To say that Ms. M commands a room is the understatement of the year. I have never seen someone hold the respect and attention of every...single...employee under her. She is fair and direct and wants everyone to hold up their end of the work. She was very upset to know that Sooni had not been working to our standards or hers (she even used the word "naughty") and she told me she would have a long discussion with her about it. I wrote out very clearly what we wanted Sooni to do in her time here so Ms. M could outline the tasks for Sooni. Immediately after our discussion I felt horrible. I just tattled on my ayah. Why was Ms. M fighting my battles for me? Sooni showed up that afternoon fifteen minutes early saying she spoke with Ms. M. She seemed humbled yet eager to show me all that should would clean while I was gone. She said (I believe) that she will clean better and stay longer for the same price. She stayed for three hours, and the floors were cornflake-free.
I told a few friends what I had done and how guilty I felt. They all assured me that they had to get stern with their ayah's as well and told them they can easily find someone else. One friend even had her Hindi tutor translate that the situation "just isn't working and that I want my key back."
So I am learning how things "work" around here. I am not used to having a housekeeper and I clearly need to learn more Hindi. But I think the next time I need to talk to Sooni I can handle it myself. Or maybe I will hire my friend's Hindi tutor to speak to her for me.
When Andy arrived two weeks previous to us, he had little time to hire, or even look for an ayah. The head of school, Ms. M, told him she has two and one, Sooni, only works part time, so he could have her for part of the week. This seemed a wonderful deal. No problems trusting Sooni, she helped raise Ms. M's children and has been with her for over 20 years. Andy handed over the extra key and went right on teaching.
When I arrived two weeks later I was so thankful we had help with cleaning because so many simple tasks were quite overwhelming for my sleep-deprived, jet-lagged self. I spoke with many staff and spouses about the ayah situation. What was a fair wage? What can I expect her to do? I was quite taken aback by how direct and seemingly insensitive the answers were. "Do NOT pay her too much, they will ALL want to make more if you do. Never give her more than one new instruction per day; anymore will confuse her. Talk to her as if she is four, they need very simple instructions. Do not let her take advantage of your not being there and slack off!"
I was appalled. Of COURSE I will pay a fair living wage. I really only need help with the cleaning; I am a capable cook and I don't want her to be a sitter for Oliver. I spoke with Sooni and Ms. M about pay. For 2.5 hours of cleaning every Tuesday and Thursday, I would pay Sooni 1,000 Rupees (about $20.00) at the end of every month. This seemed incredibly low and unreasonable, but then I discovered we are paying her more than most for an hourly wage.
Sooni would come when Oliver and I were at lunch with Andy and we would catch her near the end of her shift as we returned for nap time. I gave one new instruction each day. "Please lift the rugs off of the floor before you sweep and mop THEN put them back down. Please scrub the countertops, they are very damp. Please move chairs aside so you can mop under them." Always polite, respectful and kind to her I thought we were off to a great start. Oliver thinks she is just the neatest person ever as she has sequins all over her sari and she lets him grab it and shake it.
But I was starting to get suspicious. We had lots of hair left on our bathroom floor, the counters still had crumbs, the floors were clearly not being mopped. I spilled a few cornflakes on our floor on Tuesday and thought "let's see what happens." Our floor is maroon concrete, three yellow cornflakes are highly visible against it. When Oliver and I returned from lunch the cornflakes were still there. I asked Sooni if she had mopped and I got the standard, "Yes Ma'am!" Then I asked her if she would wash the doors on our built in cabinets as they were getting quite dusty/moldy and she said (what I believe she said, my Hindi is far from great) is that the monsoon makes everything dusty and moldy and then she walked out the door.
I was fuming. That was my one new instruction! I was following the rules and she just walked out! Not only that, I knew she had been there less than 2.5 hours because she wasn't there when we left and she left when we returned less than two hours later.
I was angry at myself. Was I not clear? Why don't I know more Hindi? Why am I not someone who can be firm with others? Andy and I spoke about it and we agreed that I needed to talk to Ms. M. To say that Ms. M commands a room is the understatement of the year. I have never seen someone hold the respect and attention of every...single...employee under her. She is fair and direct and wants everyone to hold up their end of the work. She was very upset to know that Sooni had not been working to our standards or hers (she even used the word "naughty") and she told me she would have a long discussion with her about it. I wrote out very clearly what we wanted Sooni to do in her time here so Ms. M could outline the tasks for Sooni. Immediately after our discussion I felt horrible. I just tattled on my ayah. Why was Ms. M fighting my battles for me? Sooni showed up that afternoon fifteen minutes early saying she spoke with Ms. M. She seemed humbled yet eager to show me all that should would clean while I was gone. She said (I believe) that she will clean better and stay longer for the same price. She stayed for three hours, and the floors were cornflake-free.
I told a few friends what I had done and how guilty I felt. They all assured me that they had to get stern with their ayah's as well and told them they can easily find someone else. One friend even had her Hindi tutor translate that the situation "just isn't working and that I want my key back."
So I am learning how things "work" around here. I am not used to having a housekeeper and I clearly need to learn more Hindi. But I think the next time I need to talk to Sooni I can handle it myself. Or maybe I will hire my friend's Hindi tutor to speak to her for me.
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